


Bach Party 2: Bach Harder

by cyrene



Series: Zutara Week 2018 [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, Turtleduck(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-20 23:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15544833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyrene/pseuds/cyrene
Summary: It's the day of Zuko's wedding. He doesn't remember anything that happened last night. He might be still drunk. And what's the bandage on his butt for?!





	Bach Party 2: Bach Harder

When Zuko awoke in the morning, his mouth was dryer than... a thing... which is very dry. Something... dry...

 

Zuko leaned over the bed and heaved into a well-placed garbage can.

 

 _Thank you, drunk me_ , he thought wryly as he grabbed the bottle of water by the bed and took a huge swig of – NOT WATER! NOT WATER; IT WAS VODKA! Zuko spat the clear liquid out in surprise. _Damn you, drunk me_.

 

He tried to piece together the night before, but it was a giant haze. He remembered Sokka and Aang promising Katara they wouldn't get too wild, and laughing as they got in the car. He remembered a giant pain in the ass, and not the Aang kind...

 

No, his butt was genuinely bandaged. What had happened there? Zuko reached back to pull the bandage off, but quickly pulled the sheet up to his neck when he heard a groan.

 

“Sokka?” he hazarded a guess. His voice was croaky and awful.

 

A bald head poked up from the floor on the side of the bed.

 

“I feel terrible,” Aang groaned.

 

“How do _you_ feel terrible? You were supposed to be designated driver! You're eighteen!”

 

“Let's get the Avatar drunk, they said. It will be hilarious, they said. I hate you guys so much right now.”

 

Sokka stumbled into the room with a moan. “Are you two as hung over as I am? Because...” He belched in a manner that was both disgusting and impressive at the same time, and declined to continue talking.

 

“What... _happened_ last night?” Zuko croaked.

 

“Batch Party 2: Batch Harder,” Aang said in a low murmur. “Can you keep it down?”

 

“Your wife is going to kill you,” Zuko informed Sokka as he wrapped the sheet around his waist and stood on unsteady legs. Seriously, why did the whole left side of his butt feel like it was on fire? “Your sister is going to help her.”

 

“Hey,” Sokka pointed at them. “Hey. I promised no strippers. There were no strippers.”

 

“You promised I wouldn't feel like hell for the wedding either,” Zuko called from the bathroom, where he was staring at his pale and shadowed face in the mirror. “I look like hell, and I think I might be still drunk. And why is my ass bandaged?” he demanded.

 

He heard Aang and Sokka snicker from outside the door. “Oh, man, I forgot about that...” Aang said with a pained chuckle.

 

“Forgot about _what_?” Zuko growled. He carefully lifted the tape and removed the bandages. “Huh.”

 

“Oh, man, my sister _is_ going to kill me!” Sokka laughed, poking his head in.

 

“This is a tattoo,” Zuko pointed out, in case they had not noticed.

 

“Yes,” Sokka nodded. “Yes, it is.”

 

“I have to get _married_ in –” he glanced at the clock – “two hours, and I have a tattoo my wife doesn't know about!”

 

“You're a dead man,” a cheerful voice called from the bedroom.

 

“ _Thank you, Aang_. That's ever so helpful.”

 

“Well, it's not like I'm an _ink_ -bender. There's not much I can do about a tattoo.”

 

“Shit, _I don't have time for this_! I'm getting _married_!” Zuko grabbed the sink as he began to hyperventilate.

 

There was a knock at the door, which he hardly noticed, so Sokka or Aang answered it.

 

“Zuko?” a familiar voice called cheerfully.

 

“Uncle!” Zuko managed to rasp out. Uncle would be able to sort this out.

 

But when he got to the bathroom, Iroh just burst out laughing. Zuko threw his hands up.

 

“That's it. I hate all of you, and you're disinvited to the wedding.”

 

“No, no, I'm sorry, my dear nephew,” Iroh said through his tears and laughter. “I just... does Katara know?”

 

“No!”

 

“Well, I'm pretty sure she will soon,” Aang pointed out. Sokka replied with a barfing noise that might have been him actually throwing up.

 

“What happened last night?” Iroh asked, trying really hard to sober up, as they all were.

 

“Batch Party 2,” Aang said solemnly. “Batch Harder.”

 

“Well, it could have gone worse,” Iroh said in attempting to comfort them. “Didn't you lose Sokka at Batch Party 1?”

 

“True,” Sokka pointed out.

 

“May I remind you all,” Zuko said with remarkable calm, “that I _am getting married today_ , and I am _still drunk_ , and I have a _tattoo on my butt!”_

 

“Okay,” Aang giggled, “okay, be serious. What do we do?”

 

“Well,” Iroh smiled.

 

“ _Don't you dare say tea!_ ”

 

“Gatorade.” Uncle offered them each a bottle of blue heaven. “Tylenol. And breakfast. Eggs and bacon will get you right.”

 

Zuko nodded. “Good. Good. And what about Katara?”

 

“Nephew, I am not a miracle worker. I can get you sober, but you'll still have... that... thing...” He dissolved into laughter again.

 

“I hate everything,” Zuko groaned.

 

“Just, seriously, I have to know,” Sokka asked from where he and Aang were helping each other stand. “Why would you get a tattoo of a turtleduck?”

 


End file.
